GUT INSTINCT (2024) is a short film (00:16:39) that aims to sicken audiences by intruding disturbing images into otherwise serene scenes. Fleshy, bodily imagery dominates the appropriated footage to create an aura of disgust. I use a combination of footage filmed on a handheld camcorder and appropriated footage in the work. The majority of video is taken in New York City, with interjections of scenes from Boston and my own childhood home videos. GUT’s audio is largely taken from the naturally occurring sounds of the footage, dominated by screeching subway tracks and car horns from New York City traffic. This accompanies text from my diary entries, entered during a moment of particular emotional clarity while in New York City. Though the film functions largely as a narrative of this experience, there is no spoken VoiceOver. Instead, it is read as text along the bottom of the frame, mimicking a closed caption style. This method lowers the intelligibility of both the image and the text, forcing viewers to quickly switch between the two in order to experience the overload of information on screen. The overwhelm presented here mimics the competing space that internal thought and external stimuli take up in my life.

In GUT INSTINCT, I invite viewers into the dark twists of my mind, clouded by dissociation and internal tumult produced by my experience with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The piece encourages viewers to dislike the person the artist presents them with: a manifestation of the worst parts of myself, and maybe the truest parts.